I Always Meant to Tell You
by katbybee
Summary: "I can guarantee you, immortality is not all it's cracked up to be. Death, especially when temporary is inconvenient, messy, and extremely hard to explain." This story is AU and is my take on just why Murdock's gyros spin slightly off-kilter. Usual Useless Disclaimers. Reviews appreciated.
1. Carry On Wayward Son

A/N: Murdock, Face and the rest of the A-Team are owned by Stephen J. Cannell. I don't own them... I am simply playing in the sandbox. *This story is AU and is my answer to the question of just why Murdock's gaskets fit just a bit loosely. * Also, please note that nothing in canon ever said that Murdock came to LA at the same time as the other members of the team. I have him leaving Vietnam and arriving in L.A. about a year after the rest of the team. *The event mentioned where Murdock nearly dies in the hills takes place in "Curtain Call," Season 2, Episode 23. Dr. Kelly Stevens and Bedford Falls appear in Season 3, Episode 22. * Thank you to my awesome writing partner xavionite, who never lets me get away with anything. You are the best! * There were several songs that I listened to as I wrote this story, and I made them the appropriate chapter titles. You can find them on Amazon or YouTube. I highly recommend listening to them as you read if you can.

 **PROLOGUE:**

 **Over Los Angeles County**

 **Sometime in the mid-1980's**

Things had gone well on their last mission. Hannibal had decided to give B. A. a break, and the two of them had driven the van back down to Los Angeles from Portland. They had a few days off, so it was something of a reward. Face had decided to join Murdock and fly back down to L.A. Murdock needed to be back at the VA fairly quickly, so he did not have the luxury of traveling by van.

Face was dozing in the co-pilot's seat the drone of the engines lulling him, when suddenly a vibration shuddered through the two-engine plane. Face sat up, his eyes wide. "What was that?"

Murdock frowned as he tapped a couple of gauges. "Dunno...everything checked out fine when we left Portland."

Face noticed the tension in Murdock's voice...there was no trace of humor or teasing at all. Nervously, he watched as the captain flipped a few switches, all to no avail...because a few moments later, several red lights began flashing, and two alarms began shrieking at the same time.

And Murdock began to sweat.

 **CHAPTER ONE** "Carry On, Wayward Son: Kansas"

 **Inside the Plane**

 **Face's POV**

I watched as Murdock's hands seem to fly in every direction at once. The plane began to buck as if we had hit heavy turbulence. He silenced the alarms and then turned to look at me. His eyes were bleak. "Facey, go get your parachute on."

I panicked at that. "Wait, what about you?"

He smirked, but there was something odd in his expression. "It's okay. I'm right behind you."

Suddenly I was really scared. "You promise?"

He held up his right hand in a Boy Scout salute. "Have I ever lied to you? Now go on. Hurry up. I just gotta set some of these controls to make sure this baby doesn't kill anybody when she goes down. I'll only be a minute." And his hands started flying over the controls once more.

I hurried to the back and pulled out our parachutes and got them ready, putting Murdock's where he could reach it easily. I buckled into mine and was double-checking the straps when Murdock came hustling back next to me. The plane gave another tremendous shudder and one of the engines shrieked as it died. Murdock buckled on his parachute and grabbed my arm…"Come on, buddy, we gotta go!"

The next thing I knew, he had shoved a helmet onto my head, buckled it, unsealed the door and I found myself free-falling hundreds of feet towards the earth below.

 **Murdock's POV**

I watched Faceman fall safely away from the crippled plane and pull his ripcord. His chute deployed, and I took a deep breath. _He was gonna be okay._ I shoved my ball cap inside my jacket, jammed on my helmet and jumped free of the plane, anticipating my own rush of freedom... that freight train feeling right before you pull the cord... there's no feeling like it in the world. I pulled my cord, bracing for the pull of the 'chute-and nothing happened. I grabbed for the lollipop. I yanked it, and unlike Face, I realized my ride to Earth was gonna be a whole lot faster...I….Face! I-I wish I had told him-I always meant to- and I started spinning dizzily….and I knew it was too late….I really should have told him...I never meant for him to find out this w-

 **Face's POV**

Skydiving has never been one of my favorite ways to spend the day, even when I plan on doing it. Missions are one thing...we do it on occasion, and of course I never complain. Hannibal loves it and BA only tolerates it because he is normally unconscious when he does it. Murdock...well, he sometimes talks about flying without a parachute... probably would if he could- _wait, what_? A brown and khaki object hurtled past me doing what felt like 500 miles an hour. "Oh my God! MURDOCK! NOOOO!" The wind whipped the scream from my throat, but I screamed just the same…

I frantically guided my 'chute to try to follow him. Though I couldn't bear to watch, I couldn't take my eyes off him, either. The insane thought went through my head that I had somehow caused that 'chute not to open because of my thoughts about Murdock and parachutes. It couldn't have been that long, but it seemed like hours before he finally hit the valley floor. I was still too high to hear anything, but I swear I heard him break...and I broke with him.

I woke up alone. No sign of Murdock or the plane. My head hurt, and I must have been out for a while. It was darker than I remembered it being. I figured maybe I had hit my head on a rock or something after I hit the ground. Murdock had sent us into an unpopulated area that was only about ten miles from civilization… from help. He had pointed the plane out into the desert where it would crash harmlessly. I sat up and gazed around. _Harmlessly._ Murdock was dead, and I was alone. Right. _Harmlessly._

I quickly took stock and realized that I was basically unhurt, except for a nasty gash on my left bicep, which I ignored, since I seemed in no danger of bleeding to death in the near future. I also had a whopper of a headache, but I could live with it. The survival pouch attached to my parachute was intact. It contained a couple of ration bars and a canteen of water, as well as a small tarp. I also had my knife and some matches. I was practically flush. I buried my parachute, (old habits die hard), secured the area and began scouting the terrain, looking for Murdock.

I wanted to find him and bury him in a shallow grave, to protect him from any predators that might roam this area. I figured it was the least I could do for him until we could get him back home...Home. _Oh my God._ What am I gonna tell the others? This will kill Hannibal and B. A. I can't tell them this! What am I gonna do?

 **~TBC~**


	2. Lookin' Out my Back Door

**CHAPTER TWO** "Lookin' Out my Back Door" Creedence Clearwater Revival"

 **Two Miles Away**

 **In the Meantime**

 **Murdock's POV**

Have you ever had a dentist put you on nitrous oxide? It's real groovy stuff, man! They don't call it laughing gas for nothing, pal! Purple Wobblies turn orange and do backflips! Turns the whole planet into a giant Peter Maxx painting...with Dr. Seuss narrating. An' if you think that ain't some down home country fun, you should come to my house an' try it some time, cowpoke!

Hmmmm… I am tired… beat... _Yankee doodle went bananas 'cause he rode a pony. Stuck his father with a feather in the stormy weather…_

Oh man, I hate this….wakin' up always hurts! _How come it always hurts?_

As my first order of business, I began flexing my arms and legs and testing out various and sundry muscles, nerves and tendons. Everything seemed to be functioning within acceptable parameters, if a bit slowly. I'd have to ask Face for a consult with his chiropractor, but other than that, I seemed to be good to go. Of course, I needed sleep. That seemed to be the one constant after every...incident. My energy levels tend to drop to nearly zero for several days afterwards. It was annoying at best and had nearly proven fatal on more than one memorable occasion. But some would say it was a small price to pay for-well, _fools_ would say it was a gift I suppose.

 _I can guarantee you, immortality is not all it's cracked up to be. Death, especially when temporary is inconvenient, messy, and extremely hard to explain._

For my second order of business, I sat up and looked around. It would be dawn in a couple of hours, and it was cold. I shrugged the parachute off my back, and checked the survival pack, but of course the impact had pulverized the contents. This led me to my third order of business, which was climbing out of the small crater I was lying in. I smirked as I pulled myself over the rim, pulling the parachute out with me. I sat on the edge of the crater and dangled my feet into it. After a while, I pulled experimentally on the parachute's ripcord, and damned if it didn't fly out of my hands when the 'chute deployed uselessly across the valley floor. _Figures_. I shook my head and wrapped up in the 'chute. At least it would help keep me warm. I needed to assess my options. Instead, I fell asleep.

 **Face's POV**

I walked what felt like forever, but was probably about two, maybe three miles. It was really hard to tell in the dark. I had to rest awhile at one point. I had pretty well decided that maybe the colonel was right about me being a bit out of shape. Sometime around dawn I saw something really confusing. Off in the distance, I would have sworn there was a deployed parachute laying in the sand on the valley floor. It couldn't have been Murdock, because I had seen him hit, and his parachute had never opened. I headed for it anyway, because somebody else might need some help.

I finally made it to the 'chute just about the time the sun came up. And stopped cold, because I recognized the beat-up tennies sticking out from under the silk. Oh, my God...no. It wasn't fair. _How had his 'chute deployed after he hit?_

I really did not want to do it, but I reached down and slowly pulled the silk away from his body and turned him over. And fainted when he opened his eyes and looked directly at me.

 **Murdock's POV**

 _Oops. Okay. That was awkward._ I sighed as I gently pushed Face off of me. I couldn't help it. He had startled me. I was sound asleep, and definitely not ready to wake up. And he obviously had seen me hit. Which is gonna be messy. See, this is why I don't let myself get too involved with anyone...and why I sure as hell have never told anyone. At least I never have before. In all this time I have had friends, sure, but never like these guys. Never...brothers. Because I never hang around long enough. Usually I just pick up and leave...but sometimes I end up leaving the hard way. And then I just get out of Dodge, so things don't get complicated. Like now. Because he saw. And he found me. And life has now gotten as complicated as hell. _And I have no idea what to do…_

Beside me, Face began to groan quietly, and I sat up and waited for him to come to. As he began to struggle to sit up, I debated whether to touch him, and decided against it. His blue eyes were wide as he focused on me. His eyes held the same terror I had seen in them in 'Nam, and I hated that it was me that put it there.

"Facey, it's okay. It's really me," I tried gently. He shook his head vehemently and scrambled back away from me.

"No! You st-stay away from me! I-I don't know what's going on, but I saw you d-die! G-get away from m-me!"

"Face…"

"NO! You're d-dead. I saw you d-d-die!" His face contorted in pain, his breathing began to speed up, and the tears began to fall. His stutter, almost non-existent since the early days in 'Nam was back with a vengeance.

I nodded. I got it. I really did. Quietly I told him. "Yeah, Face. You did. I know it's hard to-"

Again he shook his head. "NO! I-I d-don't know what's g-g-going on or what this is all about. B-but M-Murdock is dead." He scrubbed his hand across his face and turned and marched quickly away, heading towards the distant town.

I stayed on my knees watching him go. "No," I whispered. "No, Facey. He's not. But I wish he was."

 **Face's POV**

I walked away as fast as I could. I wanted nothing so much as to get to a phone and call the colonel. He would know what to do. I had no idea what had happened back there, or why I was hallucinating. Maybe I had hit my head a lot harder than I had thought. But something pulled at me. Murdock was my best friend. Had been since 'Nam. A long time. Over fifteen years. Memories flooded me, and I couldn't believe he was gone.

A thought niggled at me, and once it did, would not go away. _What if he's not?_

And I suddenly realized that I could not leave him there...hallucination or no, I was not going to leave my best friend to rot in the middle of nowhere. I was going to go back and finish the job I had started. I turned around and headed back the way I'd come.

I got to the parachute...and Murdock was gone. I sighed in relief...it had been a hallucination. I started to turn away until I realized two things. Number one, the crater I was standing next to was shaped exactly like the one Murdock's body had made when he hit the ground. And number two, the shoe prints leading off towards the desert were Murdock's size.

 _If this was a hallucination, why did it have to go wandering around the desert?_ I sighed and set out after Murdock.

I caught up with him about a half-hour later. He was walking slowly with his head down and his hands shoved into his pockets. The posture was heartbreakingly familiar, and somehow, I knew it was true. I don't know how it happened...but it was true.

Softly I called out, "Murdock?"

He kept walking. I walked beside him, walking backwards, but he never looked up, never changed his pace. "Hey, Murdock, wait."

I reached out and put my hand on his arm. He stopped and looked at me, tilting his head to the side. There was something in his eyes...he was lost, or frightened...something.

"I believe you."

His chin came up. "You do?"

I nodded. "I saw it with my own eyes. And you are no hallucination. So, what you said must be true." He shrugged. "I have no idea how it happened, but it must be true."

He smirked. "Tell ya the truth, Faceman, I got no idea how it happened either."

We turned and headed towards town and a telephone.

 **~TBC~**


	3. Bad Moon Rising

**CHAPTER THREE** "Bad Moon Rising" Creedence Clearwater Revival"

 **The Beach House, Los Angeles**

 **One Week Later**

 **Murdock's POV**

I am the king of bizarre conversations, believe me. But nothing has ever topped the one the guys and I had during halftime when Face brought up a couple of questions about my unique "situation."

Face danced around the question for a while then finally asked, "So, is there anything that could actually kill you? Are you, like truly immortal?"

I thought about that for a while. "Well, considering I've been killed a lot and I'm still here, I would say immortal is a pretty safe bet, yeah. Can anything kill me? Haven't found it yet, and when I do, I guess I won't know, will I?"

Hannibal snickered at that, but Face flushed, obviously upset. I leaned forward "Don't, Face. It's okay. I made my peace with it a long time ago. In all this time, I've never found anyone else like me...so I'm okay...no matter what happens." He nodded, and I was grateful when Hannibal took up the question again. He ticked the points off on his fingers:

"Okay, you ever been poisoned?"

"Yeah, that happened in Italy. I got a bad cannoli. An' I know fire don't work, either."

"What, you got burned at the stake?" Face couldn't resist, and I was glad to see him smile.

I rolled my eyes. "That was a little before my time, Facey." The others laughed, and I couldn't help but grin, though the memory was anything but pleasant. "Nah, fire doesn't do it, trust me."

BA frowned. "Gas?"

I chuckled, "Don't look at me."

BA scowled. "No, Fool! I meant, what about a gas attack?"

"Yeah. Ypres. 1915." No need to elaborate on that one judging by the expressions.

Hannibal nodded. "Well, obviously, heights, plane crashes, and being shot don't do it. either."

Face brightened. "Ever been hit by a train?"

BA's eyebrows shot up. "That's cold, man!"

Face splayed his hand across his chest, "I didn't mean he should try it! I was just curious!"

"Not a train, but I got hit by a semi once, hitchhiking, so that counts."

"Sword-fight? Duel? You know, defending a lady's honor?" Face waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

I looked askance at Facey and sighed. _He'll never change._ "Stabbed a couple times. I even got turned into shish kebab one time."

BA tipped his head. "Drowned?"

Here I went into my best Humphrey Bogart and leaned forward. "As a matter of fact, I have, sweetheart. Titanic. Traveling incognito for the government."

 _Okay, I hadn't been traveling on the government's dime, but that was a minor point..._

"Explosion?" Hannibal's interest was keen on this one.

I shook my head wincing at the memory. "Bank heist in Deadwood, 1879."

Face's eyes got big. " _You_ robbed a bank?"

I sighed. "No, Facey. Of course not. I _worked_ in the bank. The dummy that tried to blow the safe blew the whole building instead."

Face nodded sagely. "That'd do it."

Hannibal thought about it. "So maybe those legends about Immortals are true."

I looked at Hannibal. "How's that?"

"You know, about beheading being the only the way to kill an immortal." Hannibal grinned. "Better watch your head, Captain."

Face frowned. "That can't be right, Colonel."

Hannibal looked at him. "Why not?"

"Well, because of the bank job in Deadwood." Face looked at me. "You said the whole building got blown up, right?"

I nodded.

"Well, did you, er, did your head, umm, you know…" He ran his hand under his collar, the way he does when he's uncomfortable.

I saw where he was going with this. I stood and paced the room, slapping an imaginary riding crop into my palm as I dropped into my most upper crust British character.

"Ah. What you want to know is if my head took leave of my body at any point in that most unfortunate debacle. Well, Master Peck," I turned back and gazed directly at him. "Let me assure you that while there was a great deal of damage inflicted upon my person, at no time did my extremely pleasing visage depart ways with the rest of this fine specimen of homo sapiens." Dropping the accent and flopping back into my chair, I grinned. "So, no...never happened."

I waited, because I knew what was coming. It didn't take long…

They were silent for a few minutes as it all began to sink in. Face played nervously with his hair for moment before finally venturing, "Uh, Murdock, when I found you, you weren't even hurt...I mean, not even bruised. And I saw you hit the ground. I saw the-the-"

He broke off, unable to continue, and I unfolded myself from my chair and moved to kneel in front of him. He was hurting, and I spoke gently, "You saw the crater where I hit. I'm sorry, Faceman."

"I mean, Murdock, that had to hurt!" Face was miserable.

I chuckled. "Yeah, pretty much the understatement of the decade! I've sorta gotten used to it."

A troubled expression crossed Templeton's face. "Has this ever happened to you before...I mean, since you've been...you know, with-with us?"

Hannibal and BA looked shocked but waited anxiously for the answer.

I blew out my breath and sighed. I sat back down and scratched my cheek. This was not going to be easy. "Yeah. Twice."

All teasing gone from his tone, Hannibal looked directly at me "When?"

"Once in 'Nam, and once back in '74. Not too long after I got to L.A."

At their murmurs of protest, I held up my hand. "Wait. I'll tell you everything." I paused, trying to figure out how to explain the unexplainable. "Well, as you guys know, I can be injured."

Hannibal nodded. "Yeah, I was wondering about that. How does that work? You said it hurts when it happens, and when you wake up. Yet Face said you didn't have a scratch on you when he found you in the desert. And you slept almost three days straight when we got you back here."

Face chimed in, "And yet, you've been wounded before...that time you got shot in the hills you nearly died on us."

I nodded. "I don't exactly understand how it works, and there doesn't seem to be a real frame of reference, since, as the colonel pointed out, the only other immortals in existence seem to be in legend, but only fatal injuries seem to regenerate and heal completely. The amount of time it takes seems to depend on the severity of the damage to my body. I'll spare you the details, since I don't really remember them, but for example, in Deadwood, it was several days before I was restored to er...proper working… umm… order."

Face turned slightly green, and BA looked like he wanted to smack me upside the head.

I shrugged. I should probably lay off, but I love picking on them!

Hannibal asked, "So, getting back to what you said before, what happened in 'Nam, and then here?"

I stretched and rolled my shoulders. "Well, actually 'Nam was after we met, but before we got back together here."

I felt myself slip into what we call the thousand-mile zone, and I knew the others could probably see it in my eyes. "Reader's Digest version? Shot down. Crashed. Cong found me. Escaped before they could bury me seven months later. Walked out. Landed in the VA. Got shot during a mugging a year later."

I felt their stares. I couldn't help them. The dead-eyed recitation of facts they had never known likely shook them all to the core. And I was suddenly exhausted. I leaned back in my chair and shut my eyes, done with conversation for a while.

I never even heard the rest of the game.

 **~TBC~**


	4. Let Her Go

**CHAPTER FOUR** "Let Her Go" Passenger

 **Los Angeles**

 **One Week Later**

 **Hannibal's POV**

Murdock went back to the VA, and I gave the others some time off to recover after the events of the previous week. I was not surprised to get a call from Murdock asking me to meet him for lunch three days later. What did surprise me was that he told me not to come to the VA, but to meet him at the old Griffith Park Zoo. He sounded really down.

I didn't ask questions, but agreed to meet him, and told him I'd bring lunch. I knew things were bad when he didn't even ask me to bring Captain Bellybuster's. I suggested meeting by the old petting zoo around noon. The zoo was officially closed to all visitors, but rules never bothered us before, so that was not an issue.

I arrived a few minutes early, the sack of food tucked under one arm, two cans of root beer in my jacket pocket. As I had known he would be, Murdock was perched in a tree, next to one of the old enclosures, gazing intently down into the pen. From the looks of things, I would bet the man was communing with the baby goats he likely saw still wandering around the area.

I was also not surprised that Murdock sensed my presence long before I ever got close. He had always had hearing like a cat. He jumped down from his perch, and turned to greet me, an almost-Murdock-like grin on his face. "Hey, Colonel!"

"Hi, Captain, how ya doin'?"

The first tell was that he wouldn't meet my eyes. My pilot almost always looked people directly in the eyes, even at his craziest.

Murdock shrugged, and the grin faded. "Ahh, I'm alright I guess."

I smiled faintly to take the sting out of my words. "No, Captain, you're not. Let's eat."

We sat on one of the low enclosure walls. I handed Murdock a burger and a root beer. After we had polished off the burgers and an order of fries each, I crumpled the cans up and put them in the bag and shoved the bag into my jacket pocket. I looked at Murdock. "Okay, spill. What's going on?"

"It's just that I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately, Colonel. Always before I never really thought about it. I-I've been alone for so long, I mean, up to when I met you guys...I never got close to anyone, because it hurts to lose them. I am gonna stay 32 for the rest of my… for the rest of, well- _forever_.

I decided now was as good a time as any to satisfy my curiosity. "How did it happen, anyway? I mean, you mentioned something before that it happened a long time ago. Do you mind if I ask what happened? I mean, you weren't born like this, right?

Murdock shook his head. "Dunno. I was born like everyone else and I don't have any memories before 1745...well, a few years after that, really. I was born in Baltimore. I was in the Maryland Militia, and we fought in a lot of battles in several states. My younger brother Samuel was in the same regiment as me and we fought side by side.

We were in Pennsylvania in some farmer's field. The fighting had been heavy, and we had taken a lot of losses...of course," he smiled bitterly "warfare in 1777 was somewhat different than it was in 1967, you know." He paused, "Anyway, it was brutal, and horrible."

I stayed quiet, just letting him talk. "Samuel and I, along with several others in our regiment got into a running battle with some redcoats. Around noon things got pitched and we ended up in a mass of soldiers from both sides fighting hand to hand. The next thing I knew a white-hot pain burst in my leg and I fell...there was a lot of blood, and then I heard Samuel cry out behind me. I turned and realized Samuel had blood on his belly. He was staring over my shoulder, his mouth wide with terror. I whipped around in time to jump between my brother and the enemy soldier with a musket in his hands. The ball hit me in the chest at point-blank range and as I fell the world around me faded to black."

"Of course, I never expected to wake up," Murdock smiled ruefully, "at least not still on this ol' Earth, if ya know what I mean."

I chuckled. I did indeed. Regardless of the way Hollywood sometimes portrayed soldiers, they tended to often be men of deep faith. We may not be vocal about it, or feel the need to flaunt it, but it's there.

Murdock looked at me. He was as serious as I had ever seen him. "The first things I remember are the smells. Copper, ozone, sulphur... blood, earth, gunpowder. And then I felt the terrible ache in my chest and my leg. When I opened my eyes I saw dried blood all over my pants and shirt. I heard the battle off in the distance and realized the fighting had moved on. It must have been a few hours, because the sun was lower in the sky, and the birds had begun to sing again. I dreaded opening my shirt, because I had no way of treating a serious wound." He snorted, and his eyes were bleak. "Imagine my shock when there wasn't even a bruise. Same with my leg."

I put my hand on his shoulder but couldn't think of a thing to say. After a while, Murdock went on. "I looked around, and the field was littered with dead bodies. No one survived, Colonel," he looked at me, and the remembered sorrow was terrible to witness… especially when I realized what he meant.

"Oh, Murdock…" I breathed.

His words were bitter. "I _failed_ , Colonel. He was underneath me, half his head gone. I wouldn't even have known it was Sammy if it hadn't been for the birthmark on the back of his hand."

We were quiet for a long time after that. I have helped a lot of my men work through loss and guilt before, but this was totally new territory. I said the only thing that came to mind. "You died trying to protect your brother. Yeah, you failed, but you tried. And you have never stopped trying. That counts for a lot, Captain."

He sighed, apparently accepting what I had said. "After awhile I buried him, and walked away. I still didn't understand what had happened. I headed west. I eventually figured out how to exist...but it hasn't been easy." He grinned, though it had an edge. "I think it's made me a little crazy."

I grinned back and raised my eyebrows. "I think you're right."

"Part of it is, I can't figure out why. Why I'm here. Why am I still here?" He stood and began to pace. "The hardest part is not letting myself get too close to people."

"You're close to us."

"Yeah, yeah, I am. And, no offense, but I never meant to let that happen. Because someday, I'm gonna lose all of you. And I have no idea how I will handle it."

Suddenly a light bulb went off in my head. "That's why you broke it off with Kelly, isn't it?"

He nodded miserably. "Call me a coward. I couldn't face the thought of watching her grow old and then having to watch her die."

I thought about my own relationship with Maggie. Ours was fairly casual, but still...I understood. And yet… though I hadn't seen much of them together, somehow, I knew Murdock really loved Kelly.

I looked at him. "Eventually, you will lose her. That much is true in any relationship. In fact, you both already have lost each other. So, Captain, let me ask you this. Are you better in your life with her, or without her?"

He looked at me for a long time and I could tell he was thinking about it. I dropped him off back at the VA. He was quiet on the way back. Just before he got out of the car he looked at me. "I just wonder if she's better off without me."

I considered that. "Well, Captain, why don't you ask her? You've never told her the truth. Maybe you should."

"I can't do that, Colonel. I just can't."

I nodded. "Okay. The team is off for a few more days, except for checking in. If you need anything, just call."

He nodded. "I will."

He disappeared inside the building and I watched him go.

 **~TBC~**


	5. All for Love

**CHAPTER FIVE** "All for Love" Bryan Addams, Rod Stewart, Sting"

 **A Warehouse, Los Angeles**

 **One Week Later**

For once, Hannibal was clueless. They were trapped, and they knew it. There was no plan. If they had been dealing with Decker, they might have had a chance, but they weren't, and they didn't. The problem was, the guy in charge out there was simply crazy. He had no agenda and cared about no causes. He just wanted them dead. Therefore, for once the men on the other side of those doors were holding all the cards.

Except for one. Murdock, his face pale, turned to look at Hannibal. His voice was calm. "Colonel, let me go. I can create a diversion while you guys go out the back. Keep their attention."

It took a moment for his meaning to hit the others. Face shook his head violently but did not trust himself to speak.

BA was livid. "No way, Sucka! We ain't gonna let you go out there!"

Hannibal shook his head. "No, Captain. You know the creed: we go out together or we don't go out at all,"

There was that quality in Murdock's voice again. They could all hear his sad chuckle. "Not this time, Colonel. You know I'm right. I can do this. I _have_ to do this."

And Hannibal could have cried, because he knew the pilot was right. But there was no time. He nodded briskly. "Alright, what do we need to do?"

Murdock's hawk-shaped eyes bore deeply into his commanding officer's: "Whatever happens, Colonel, you just make _sure_ I die out there." Hannibal nodded solemnly, praying it wouldn't come to that.

It took Murdock nearly a week to recover after he had kicked down the door and been sprayed with machine gunfire from at least three guns. What he knew of the next few hours he pieced together back at the beach house later. The diversion worked, though it nearly killed them to let him stage it. They had been able to get out the back, circle around front, and take out the four gunmen.

It was a rather disconcerting experience to wake up surrounded by his team. He awoke somewhat muzzy and sore. He found his head cradled in Hannibal's arms, looking up into his anxious blue eyes. "Hiya, kid! How's tricks?" The cheerful greeting could not hide the anxiety in his voice

Too spent to speak quite yet, he let his gaze shift to Face, who was kneeling next to him and holding his beloved bomber jacket and navy ball cap. He smiled faintly and hoped his eyes would carry the message. _Thanks, Facey_. He couldn't bear the thought of bullet holes in either of them, and he had already learned that his clothes did not regenerate…

Face had apparently gotten the message, because he reached down, and brushed the hair out of Murdock's eyes. "No problem, buddy. I'm just sorry we don't have any other clothes for you." He glanced down at Murdock's shirt and sighed ruefully. "Yours are kind of shredded."

Murdock shook his head and smiled again, to let Face know it was okay. He looked down, though, and even he was mildly surprised at the amount of damage-and blood covering his shirt and pants.

He looked over at BA, who was standing a little way off and staring him in a sort of mute horror. Rather weakly, BA whispered, "It's true. It's really true."

Murdock nodded and smiled gently at BA, and then closed his eyes as the enormity of the situation washed over him. He opened his eyes again and glanced at each of his friends… his brothers… in turn. He took a deep breath, and spoke, his raspy tone full of awe. "The first time…"

Hannibal looked confused. "First time for what, Captain?"

Light filled Murdock's eyes. "In over two hundred years...from the time I woke up in that field in Maryland, I have always been alone. When I wake up, I mean. There has never been anyone else there. Ever. Because I have usually been a soldier, there are times I have only lived a short time between, well, lives? Even just a year or two. But, afterwards, after I die...when I wake up, I am always alone. Always. Until today."

The other three stared at each other, stunned by the size of that statement.

Hannibal looked back at Murdock. "Captain, I can't promise you will never wake up alone again, but we will stay with you for as long as we can."

The four men simply shared a look as Murdock nodded slowly. No words were needed.

 **The Beach House**

 **One Week Later**

 **BA's POV**

Seemed like things been real slow. I been overhaulin' the van...doin' some customizing on it. My ride takes an awful beatin' out there, so I figured to beef up the suspension some more and do some other stuff to make her even meaner than she is. I wasn't too surprised when Murdock came out and laid on the garage floor next to me. Fool's always makin' a pest outta himself, but after the warehouse, it's kinda hard to get mad at him. Besides, I got the idea he had somethin' to say. He was goin' back to the VA later today, so I figured I could put up with his jibba-jabba for a couple hours.

I looked over at him as I grabbed a wrench. "Whatcha want, Fool?"

"I'm just havin' trouble figuring something out."

I smirked. "So what else is new?"

"I'm serious, Big Guy." He was, and I stopped what I was doing and slid out from under the van and sat up. It isn't often we have any sort of talk without bickering, but I got the feeling Fool needed me this time.

"What is it, Murdock?"

He scratched his chin, like he does when he's worried about something. "I'm trying to figure out my purpose. You know, for being immortal. I mean, I have almost always been a warrior or soldier or some sort of peace officer. I have never found another immortal. As far as I can tell, I am the only one. I don't understand why."

I was confused. "What? Why you're the only one?"

"That's part of it, but mostly what my purpose is...I mean...I suppose I'm this way for a reason, but I've never been able to figure it out."

I just sort of stared at him. "You kiddin' me? Ever since I've known you all I have seen you do is stand up for others, wanna take care of other people, help 'em. And I bet you've done that ever since it happened, too. Maybe that _is_ your purpose. Maybe a whole lotta people you helped wouldn't have been helped. I mean, look at what happened at the warehouse. All of _us_ wouldn't be here now."

One thing about Murdock...he has these big, dark kinda hawk-like eyes. And when he thinks some new thought you can see it. And that happened just then. He didn't say much. But the tension dropped off him and he smiled that goofy smile of his.

"Thanks, BA!"

I grinned. "No problem, brother!"

Just as he levered himself off the floor a thought suddenly hit me. That sucker had given me blood! I came off the ground and made a grab for him. I hollered at him, "Hey Fool! You gave me some a your blood! I don't wanna be no immortal!"

Hannibal came out of the house just as I collared Murdock. "What's the problem, BA?"

Murdock tried to escape, but I had him by the lapels of his jacket. He wasn't goin' _nowhere_. Face stepped into the garage in time to catch the show.

I hollered "This fool's blood's inside me, Hannibal! What if that made me immortal, too?"

Hannibal just grinned at me around his cigar as he lit it. "Want me to shoot you and find out?"

I rolled my eyes and dropped the Fool. As he scrambled away, I shook my fist at him. "Aww, forget it! But if I get killed and I ain't dead, I'm gonna kill you! And if I am dead, I'm gonna hunt you down and haunt you!"

Murdock's grin got even bigger. "Hey, Big Guy! Now you soundin' jus' like me!"

And he whistled and hollered, "Billy, come on, let's go take a walk!"

As I picked up my wrench, I sighed contentedly. Fool was gonna be okay.

 **The Beach House**

 **Two Days Later**

 **Hannibal's POV**

Murdock called and asked to talk to Face. For once he wasn't off with a lady friend. In fact, Face had been really quiet ever since that day at the warehouse. I hadn't told Face or BA anything about what Murdock or I had talked about at the zoo. I figured when he was ready, he would tell them anything he wanted them to know.

Face got on the phone and talked for a few minutes. When he hung up, he asked me to follow him over to the VA. I shrugged. "Sure. What's cookin'?"

He reached for his jacket and looked at me, a look of puzzlement on his face. "Not really sure. He wants to borrow the 'vette. He says to meet him at the burger joint."

Face may not have known what was happening, but I thought I did, and I smiled. Murdock had gotten good at getting himself out of the VA, though Face still broke him out on a regular basis, mostly just to keep in practice.

We drove over, and Murdock was waiting, valise in hand. Face climbed out of the 'vette and handed him the keys. Murdock jumped in and took off.

Face slid in next to me and sighed. "He said if everything goes well, he'll be back in a few days."

I grinned. "Oh yeah? And if it doesn't?"

Face smirked. "Then he said he'd be back tonight."

 **~TBC~**


	6. You'll be in my Heart

**EPILOGUE** "You'll Be in my Heart" Phil Collins

 **Bedford Falls**

 **A Few Hours Later**

 **Murdock's POV**

The first time he had taken this trip had been under much less pleasant circumstances. He had been crammed into the front seat of a pick-up truck between two redneck bounty hunters for over two hours. He didn't consider those to be some of his favorite memories, but on the other hand, he would never have met Kelly.

He had easily found his way back to the small town where she lived. He made two stops. The first was to check and make sure she was still living in the same house, (also her veterinary practice) but mainly to make sure she was still unattached (she was). His second stop was at the local antique store. They had exactly what he was looking for.

He had mixed emotions as he pulled up in front of her house. It had been several years since he had last seen her, and their parting had been hard. He loved her so much, but he had felt it just wouldn't be fair, and so he had told her that because of his situation as a fugitive, he didn't want to put her into danger and so he couldn't be with her. She was heartbroken and had told him that if he ever changed his mind, she'd be waiting… and apparently, she was.

He took a deep breath and unwrapped his purchase and got out of the car. He walked up to the door, remembering the last time he had stood there, getting ready to knock. He smiled, knowing suddenly this was exactly where he wanted to be. He knocked, which set off a cacophony of noise from a few of her patients in the clinic. Butterflies danced in his stomach when he heard footsteps.

The door opened, and he held up the mirror and peeked over the top at a surprised and delighted Dr. Kelly Stevens. "Hello, Pretty Girl!"

 **~The End~**


End file.
